3 PRACTICAL WAYS TO SINCERELY OFFER YOUR SUPPORT

You’re a good person. And you sincerely want to offer your support to a friend who needs help. However, you don’t want to offend your friend or hurt their feelings.

So how can you offer your support in a way that your assistance will be accepted and appreciated?

How can you offer to help your friend in a way that will not make your friend feel like a bother?

Similarly, it’s not just your friend, but their entire support system who is having a difficult time right now. How do you help those who are supporting your friend already?

Continue reading to learn three practical ways to sincerely offer your support.

1.   Where there is a need, be the solution.

How to offer your support in a way that will be accepted and appreciated

Firstly, ask your friend directly what they need help with.

You hurt when you see your friend struggle. You want to help. So, what should you do?

Simply ask if there is any way you can be of service to them.

For instance, you may suggest a few common things that people often have little time to do even when they are not going through a difficult period.

You might say:

“Terry, I am so sorry that you are going through a tough time. Is there anything I can do for you right now? Do you need me to pick your cousin up from the airport or take your kids to soccer practice?”

Generally speaking, suggesting one or two things lets them know what you are willing to do, without adding more decisions to their already overtaxed mind.

 

Secondly, if you see something you can help with, simply ask your friend if you can complete that task for them.

For example:

“Hi, Jordan. You are going through a lot right now. I see that your lawn needs to be mowed. I would like to do that for you.”

Sometimes you may need to offer more than once. That way your friend realizes you genuinely want to lend a hand.

The first time you volunteer your services, they may think you are suggesting helping just to be nice. If you offer a second time, they are more likely to take notice that you truly want to assist them and take you up on your offer.

However, don’t be offended if they turn you down. Sometimes it is just difficult for people to ask for help, or even accept assistance, even when asked directly if they need help.

                                Ask and offer to help

2. Where there is a doubt, be the hope.

Offer to help in a way that lets your friend know you don’t have to go out of your way to assist them.

Granted, sometimes people see the load they are carrying and don’t want to feel that they are a bother to others. However, you can offer to include your friend’s needs in what you are already going to do for yourself.

You could offer by saying:

“Chris, I’m going to the grocery store. Can I pick up anything for you while I’m there?”

Your friend is more likely to accept your offer of help if they realize that their needs won’t take you out of your way.

Include your friend in an activity you are doing.

It is important to realize we all want to feel accepted and included. This need is especially acute when we feel things are out of our control.

Therefore, you could invite your friend to an outing you already have planned.

You might say:

“Cassidy, I’m going shopping. Do you want to go along?”

Mealtimes can be both stressful and lonely, depending on your friend’s situation. You could invite your friend over for a meal or go to their house to deliver a meal.

For instance, your offer could be something like:

“Morgan, I am cooking chicken and noodles for supper. Would you like to join us? If not, I can bring some to you and stay with you for a while.”

       Make your friend feel included, not a bother.

3. Where there is a burden, be the godsend.

How do you support the supporters?

When someone is going through a hardship, it’s not just them, but their entire support system who is distressed. As much as you want, you can’t change their situation.

So, what can you do?

First, care for the caregivers.

If your friend is going through a long-term situation, like cancer, you may want to give their caregiver a break. You could offer to stay with your friend while their loved one takes some time for themself.

You could say:

“Robbie, let me stay with Robin while you take some time for yourself. You can get out of the house for a while, or just go take a nap if you want.”

Perhaps you could walk the dog.

Or take the kids for a play date.

When my friend Amanda (Read: Who is MAB?) was going through breast cancer, I would often take her daughter for a few hours so she and her husband could get some much-needed rest without having to tend to their young child.

Admittedly, caregivers get caught up in the tasks they need to do for one who is ill and they often don’t take care of themselves as they should. By the time it comes to eating, they may be too tired to fix a meal.

In order to ease the hassle of mealtimes, you can send them gift cards to local restaurants so they can have something brought in on especially hectic days. In addition, you may want to include a payment for delivery service as well so they can just relax and have the food delivered.

 (Read: What to Say to Someone Who Has Cancer)

Second, offer to take something off their plate.

It doesn’t matter how much you love a person; caring for someone can be exhausting. Look for ways to take something off the caregiver’s plate, no matter how seemingly small or insignificant the task may be. It could be as simple as taking the bin to the curb for trash or recycling collection day.

Another way to support the supporters is to just be there.

Let them vent or cry or just have someone to talk to.

                                                       Just be there.

So now you have three practical ways to sincerely offer your support.

Where there is a need, be the solution.

                            Ask directly what help is needed.

Where there is a doubt, be the hope.  

                                Offer to assist while you are doing things you need to do anyway.

Where there is a burden, be the godsend.

                               Support the supporters.

But most importantly, remember to continue being the wonderful friend you already are.

Comment below how someone has helped you in your time of need.

Wishing you all the best,

Kelly

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Yes, I am a nurse. No, I am not your nurse. The medical topics discussed in this, or any article on this site, are intended to be issues for you to discuss with your medical team if you feel they apply to you. None of the information you are about to read in this article is treatment advice for you from me. I do not have that authority.