Six Ways to Help the Helpers of a Chemotherapy Patient

Your friend is going through chemotherapy. Chemo can be a long, arduous process for the patient, but also their family and supporters.

I know. I’ve been there. (Who is MAB?)

You want to ease the burden of your friend’s caregiver and it is unrealistic for you to move in with your friend to give all the support their caregiver needs. But there are ways you can support those who help your friend on a daily basis. Read on and I will give you some suggestions on how you can do this.

Watching a loved one deal with the side effects of chemo can be difficult. And even more so if you do not have a medical background that can help you anticipate some of what your loved one will experience, much less how to deal with the side effects of chemo. This can cause many feelings in the caregiver.

Some of these feelings may be very difficult to deal with. For that reason, they must have someone like you whom they can talk to and share their feelings. You can be that someone; the person a family member of a cancer patient can turn to and share their feelings without judgment. Not everyone is cut out to be a caregiver. This does not mean that they don’t care about the chemo patient. It simply means that the caregiver has limits to their ability to provide all the care that is needed.

Here are six obstacles that caregivers are up against, and how you can help:

Lack of energy:

Just as the chemo patient will experience a lack of energy, their family members who are caring for them will also experience fatigue. Caring for someone in itself can be exhausting. Running a household can be exhausting. Combining caring for an ill family member, taking on the responsibilities that they normally take care of, and adding in the responsibilities that the caregiver would normally do without being a caregiver will undoubtedly cause stress and fatigue for the caregiver of someone who is going through chemotherapy.

How you can help the caregiver:

Offer to do some of the things your friend’s supporter has been doing such as:

•   Help around the house

•   Offer to sit with your friend while their caregiver takes some time for themself

•   Offer to take the patient to their appointments

•   Run errands

•   Tend to the children

•  Take the children to sports practice

•   If you are stopping by just to visit, keep your visit short to prevent overtiring the patient. Chemo treatments are very exhausting.

•   What is your relationship with the patient and the family? Offer to be a contact person for others who want to know how the chemo patient is doing. You could send out a text or an email to keep others updated on the chemo patient’s status. This frees the caregiver up to tend to either the patient’s or their own needs.

Lack of Immunity:

Chemotherapy causes many changes in the body. One of these changes is a decrease in white blood cells. Lower WBC leads to infection potential.

How you can help the caregiver:

• A person going through chemotherapy is prone to infection. You need to take extra precautions when visiting a chemo patient’s family(Is There a Cancer Test?)

• Do not visit if you are running a fever of 100 F (37.8 C) or higher.

• Do not visit if you know you have recently been exposed to someone who is ill.

• Offer to wear a mask while visiting

• If you prepare food for the chemo patient, be sure to soak any fresh fruits or vegetables in a white vinegar and water solution before cutting them up. This destroys bacteria on the food that may be harmful to a person with a weakened immune system. Use one cup of white vinegar to one gallon of water and soak the produce for 15 minutes before cutting them. This also helps the food last longer before spoiling.

• Do not bring fresh-cut flowers or potted plants to the cancer patientt as a gift

• Do not smoke when you visit chemo patient and their caregiver

• Offer to run errands so the caregiver is not exposed to germs that they can bring back to the chemo patient

Lack of ability:

Not everyone is cut out to be a caregiver. And some parts of being a caregiver are especially upsetting.

How you can help the caregiver:

• Offer your help for assistance with some of the particularly upsetting effects of chemo the caregiver is dealing with.

• Help with any house modifications that need to be made to accommodate chemo pt’s need ie build a ramp, install grab bars, convert shower head to a sprayer head. Install lights that turn on automatically for safety

• Help rearrange furniture to accommodate the patient when using a walker, etc

• Help your friend with basic car maintenance like getting the oil changed or checking the air in the tires

• Secure throw rugs to the floor with double-sided tape to prevent slips and falls

•  Help the caregiver with their own healthcare needs

• Arrange for basic caregiving class for the caregiver

• Make a list of handyman jobs that need to be done and arrange a handyman party

• (3 Practical Ways to Offer Your Sincere Support)

Lack of confidence/experience:

Engaging in a new experience is daunting. Being a caregiver for the first time is no different.

How you can help the caregiver:

• Offer Words of encouragement

• Send a greeting card of encouragement

• Call and check in on caregiver regularly

• Review the patient’s medical instructions with the caregiver. If there is any point of confusion, call the care provider to clarify the instructions

• Ask the caregiver what support they need

• Set up a medical alert/baby monitor system

• Help caregiver decide if additional resources/hospice is best for pt

• Make a list of tasks the caregiver needs help with and find people who can help

Lack of endurance:

Chemotherapy treatments are long. They take a lot out of the patient and the caregiver alike. Where the patient needs support to get through their treatments, the caregiver also needs support to help the patient get through their treatments.

How you can help the caregiver:

• Give the caregiver your solid support.

• Schedule time to spend with your friend

• Pent-up emotions are exhausting. Allow your friend to unburden themselves on you emotionally. Remember you don’t have to fix everything, just be there to listen without judgment

• Organize food drives for the family

• Be available. Last-minute things come up. Knowing they can turn to you to help them out is a relief.

• Be sure to keep any appointments you make with the caregiver. Looking forward to your visit will lift their spirits and calm shattered nerves.

• Check in on your friend between visits. They may not want to call you if they have a need that arises for fear that they are already burdening you too much.

• Pray for your friend

Lack of direction:

Not knowing the outcome of chemotherapy can be frightening.

How you can help the caregiver:

• It may be difficult for your friend to discuss the possibility of final decisions with the cancer patient.  Let your friend talk to you about whatever they need to discuss without judgment

• Encourage your friend to get help with their emotions if they need to

• Help your friend seek out support resources (Cancer Support Resources)

• Help your friend seek out alternative treatments if necessary

• Help deal with family members of chemo pt. Do out-of-town visitors need a ride from the airport?

• Make a list of who/when to call with a change of events/ symptoms

• Give your friend a planner/organizer to keep track of  appointments/treatments

• Put caregiver in contact with other caregivers/support group

Comment below how you have helped the helper of a chemo patient.

Wishing you all the best,

Kelly

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Yes, I am a nurse. No, I am not your nurse. The medical topics discussed in this, or any article on this site, are intended to be issues for you to discuss with your medical team if you feel they apply to you. None of the information you are about to read in this article is treatment advice for you from me. I do not have that authority.