Finding Your Inner Strength: Where Healing Begins

Healing is an ongoing process. Sometimes it’s finite, such as when a broken bone heals. Once the bone heals there is nothing more to do.

Sometimes healing takes longer, like when going through cancer.

And other times the healing process seems to go on forever.

In this series of blog posts, we will look at healing from several different angles and give you tips on how to promote healing in your life.

Where do we begin when talking about healing?

Let’s begin by asking several questions:

What needs to be healed?

How did it get broken?

Why did it break?

How will it be healed?

Who will heal it?

What can I do to heal?

Who can help me heal?

Where do I go to get healed?

What will be used to heal me?

When will I be healed?

How will I know that I am healing?

How to prevent it from breaking again?

What if I can’t be healed?

That’s quite a list of questions. Not every question applies to every circumstance, but often several questions apply to one situation. These are questions we will address in upcoming blog posts.

Areas of healing

Next, let’s look at different areas where healing may need to take place:

Physical – such as from an injury or illness.

Emotional – such as caused by experiencing loss.

Mental – such as due to experiencing trauma.

Spiritual – such as from being disillusioned in your faith.

Relationship – such as from repeated hurting.

Pain and Healing

Let’s look at what we have talked about so far and see how one event, or series of events, can require healing in several different areas of our lives. Read this story from our guest blogger written in her own words about pain and healing.

Pain and Healing

Kristina Ramirez Jordan

Pain and suffering, as well as healing, involve several areas of our lives.  When we become ill, it affects not only our physical body, but also our mind, and emotions.  We need to be as gracious with ourselves as we would be if it were a loved one who is going through an illness.  Because in reality they are going through some of the pain and suffering with us and therefore must go through the healing process with us as well. 

When I went through 6 miscarriages over the course of almost 10 years, my husband went through them also.  I may have had the physical pain of losing a child, but we both went through the emotional pain of grief that those deaths caused. Many times, my husband was not even considered by those that were trying to offer support and condolences.  People brought me flowers, cards, and even gifts, but my husband was left out completely unless there happened to be a man who had gone through the same loss and knew how he was feeling.  Yet even some of those said nothing. 

This can cause strain on the marriage, and even feelings of guilt on the woman's part and blame on the man's part. 

This is what I mean by pain and healing involving several areas of life.  Losing a child involved physical pain, emotional pain, and a strain on the marriage relationship, not to mention the area of our finances.

It is possible to heal in some areas quickly, while other areas take more time if ever, to heal from.  Me, I healed physically from my miscarriages fairly quickly, but most of the other areas took longer if they even healed at all. 

I became fearful and anxious every time I was expecting, just waiting for the worst to happen, and when it did I would get blamed by not only myself but also my husband saying that I must be doing something wrong to keep losing babies. 

We also owed so much money to doctors and hospitals, that we could not pay on time.  This, as well as the emotional pain that was never dealt with, would be going through my husband's mind, causing him fear and anxiety.  He began to have stomach ulcers, which meant more doctors and more money. And if he had to take off work for illness, he didn't get paid, which made the financial areas worse.

Our marriage was not going well either.  We would argue and fight more often. Though we were frustrated in one area, it spilled over into other areas of our marriage.

I turned to the Lord to help me through the pain, while my husband turned to other ways recommended by the world to try and ease his pain. None of these ways worked, which would in turn make him all the angrier. It was not long after the last miscarriage that our marriage also ended. 

I’m not telling you this story to get pity. I’m telling you this to let you know that I’ve been where you are. I feel your hurt.

So, if you are going through pain and suffering, remember that you may have many areas that need healing, as well as more than one person in most cases. Here are some ways to start the healing process:

Seek out trusted sources of advice to help you through the pain to that light of healing at the end of the tunnel.  This could be:

A pastor or clergyman

A counselor or therapist

A trusted mentor

Don’t try to muscle your way through it alone.

Be kind to yourself and the other people that are affected by the painful situation you are experiencing. 

Give yourself as much time as you need.  Don’t feel like you must be on some kind of timetable. Each situation, as well as everyone, has its own time frame.

Most of all, be patient with yourself, and don’t be in a hurry to rush the healing process.  Take the time you need to get through the pain and come out stronger on the other side of the journey. 

So much pain

This unfortunate story points out how one, or a series of events, can cause pain in several areas that require healing.

First, there was the physical pain of losing the pregnancy.

Second, was the emotional pain that each of them experienced from the loss of their unborn baby.

Third, the couple found themselves in mental pain and unable to express their loss healthily. This unfortunately led to a fourth type of pain when their relationship and marriage ended.

And all these areas of pain were compounded by the financial burden that weighed heavy.

Where healing begins

Often, one pain leads to pain in other areas of our lives which is why it is important to focus on all areas that require healing and not stop when one painful area heals.

So where do you begin?

Begin by writing down everything that “hurts”. If you are laid up due to a broken leg, you may also experience a sore bottom from sitting more than you are accustomed to. You probably are suffering emotional pain because you cannot run in the marathon you were training for when you tripped and broke your leg. And you may feel a financial pinch if you can’t get your entry fee refunded, not to mention missed time from work.

Write down every hurt you are experiencing.

From your list, find even one thing you can change to improve your immediate situation. For that sore bottom you are experiencing, try sitting on a pillow or in a different chair. Move around as much as you can to relieve pressure on your backside.

When you experience healing in one area, two things happen. First, whatever problem you solved, no matter how small, is no longer on your problem list. And second, you have a victory to celebrate as you focus on the next task to conquer.

I am in no way making light of your situation, no matter how large or small it may be. I want to encourage you to recognize even the smallest step of progress as an accomplishment.

When I was going through cancer treatments, some days I had to focus hard to find areas where I was healing. Like being able to take my T-shirt off by myself after my double mastectomy. Sure, I learned how to dress myself as a young child, so it was very discouraging to not be able to pull my shirt over my head. When I figured out a way I could do it without my husband’s assistance, I felt like a spirited child saying, “I can do it myself”, except that I was a middle-aged woman!

Who can help?

Make a list of resources you already have that can help you. Compare your list of resources to your problem list. If you find a problem but don't have anyone who can help you, then begin looking for help as Kris suggested from outside resources.

Where to go from here

As mentioned above, in the next several blog posts we will look at how to apply healing to several different parts of our lives. These areas include physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and relationship.

Summary

Healing is an ongoing process. Often, one pain leads to pain in other areas of our lives which is why it is important to focus on all areas that require healing and not stop when one painful area heals. When you experience healing in one area, two things happen. First, whatever problem you solved, no matter how small, is no longer on your problem list. And second, you have a victory to celebrate as you focus on the next task to conquer.

Conclusion

This is the first article in a series of blog posts on healing. Check back as new articles are posted to learn tips on healing physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and in relationships.

Wishing you all the best,

Kelly

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Yes, I am a nurse. No, I am not your nurse. The medical topics discussed in this, or any article on this site, are intended to be issues for you to discuss with your medical team if you feel they apply to you. None of the information you are about to read in this article is treatment advice for you from me. I do not have that authority.