Embracing Resilience: How to Cultivate Strength in the Face of Trauma

Today, I’m writing about something that, unfortunately, most, if not all of us have faced in our lives: trauma.

We all know that life is full of surprises, and not all are pleasant. Sometimes, we meet situations that shake us to our core, challenge our sense of self, and threaten to break us down.

These can be personal tragedies, like losing a loved one, going through a divorce, or facing a serious illness. Or they can be collective traumas, such as natural disasters, wars, or pandemics.

Whatever the case, these events can leave us feeling overwhelmed, helpless, and hopeless.

But there is a way to help deal with life's setbacks; by developing resilience.

According to Merriam-Webster, resilience is the mental ability to recover from depression, illness, or misfortune.

Resilience is not a rare or extraordinary quality; it is common and ordinary. Resilience is the norm rather than the exception. Research shows that most people can overcome traumatic experiences and even thrive in the aftermath.

But amid our traumatic experiences, it is understandable that we don’t feel resilient.

Our focus is on our problems, which seem never-ending. This often leaves us feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

So, how can we develop strength and resilience when faced with trauma?

Seek support from others.

We are social beings, and we need connection and belonging to heal and grow. Reach out to your family, friends, community, or professional help when you need it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or accept it when offered. You are not alone in this!

Practice self-care.

Trauma can take a toll on you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It's important to care for yourself just as you would others. But you're already exhausted. The very thought of exercising is too much for your tired body and mind to face.

So don't do a rigorous exercise routine. Instead, do some simple stretches. This will not only help relieve the knots in your body but help to increase circulation as well.

Don't have the time or energy for a full-body massage? Try rolling your back on a small ball against the wall. Focus on the areas of your back that hold the most tension.

Try listening to relaxing music for a few minutes to help calm your mind. I have found something called bilateral stimulation music. There are several videos available on YouTube. (This is not a promotion. I have no affiliation with YouTube.)

Express your emotions.

Trauma can trigger a range of intense and complex emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, guilt, or shame. It's normal and healthy to feel these emotions, but it's also important to release them in constructive ways. Find outlets for your emotions, such as talking to someone you trust, writing in a journal, making art, or meditating.

Do you feel like crying? Then allow yourself to have a good cry. Did you know that crying releases oxytocin and natural opioids, which both help to relieve physical and emotional pain?

Some other healthy ways of expressing your emotions are by talking to a trusted friend, writing about your thoughts and feelings in a journal, praying, meditating, or even making art. Oh, you're not an artist. Try just doodling.

Challenge your negative thoughts.

Trauma can make you feel powerless, worthless, hopeless, or isolated. It can also make you blame yourself or others for what happened. These thoughts are not true or helpful; they only hurt you more. Try to identify and challenge these thoughts with evidence and logic. Replace them with more positive and realistic ones.

Let me try to give you an example of how these suggestions worked in my own life. I was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago. The experience was traumatic emotionally, physically, and mentally. The multitudes of appointments and treatments were exhausting.

Seek support: When I was first diagnosed, I called family and friends to tell them the news. This was my support team throughout my treatments and beyond. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends and family.

Practice self-care: I am not usually one to nap during the day. The physical toll of cancer treatments was absolutely exhausting. I allowed myself to nap, or at least rest. One way I measured my progress toward health was when I realized I didn’t need to nap anymore.

Express your emotions: I tried journalling but that only lasted a short time. Instead, I did arts and crafts projects. Once again, my support team was there when I needed them as well.

Challenge your negative thoughts: This one was a toughie at times. The very first chemo treatment I took was rough! I was so nauseated that evening and the first nausea med I took had no effect.

I thought, “Is this how I am going to be for the next four months?”

I was miserable until it was time to take the other nausea med I had been given. This one worked and the dry heaves finally stopped.

I had to remind myself that this was temporary.

These are just some of the ways that you can embrace resilience and gain strength in the face of trauma. Resilience is a journey. It is not something that you achieve once and for all; it is something that you practice every day.

By seeking support, practicing self-care, expressing your emotions, and challenging your negative thoughts, you release the burdens that weigh you down. With a lighter burden, you are more able to give and receive help when needed, which is a true sign of resilience.

Wishing you all the best,

Kelly

 Are your cancer screenings up to date?

Yes, I am a nurse. No, I am not your nurse. The medical topics discussed in this, or any article on this site, are intended to be issues for you to discuss with your medical team if you feel they apply to you. None of the information you are about to read in this article is treatment advice for you from me. I do not have that authority.